I have been pondering for months now if I will write about this or not, anyway it's already three months. I am not sure if the reader will like this story or will hate me, but I somehow hope that this will serve as an inspiration in any way it can be.
I have been into this thing for 13 long years. Yes, thirteen (13!) years and if I am not mistaken, it started when my youngest child was only eight months old. I have been accepting architectural projects such as house plans, etc. as sidelines after office hours. Those wee hours were the most difficult times because of my work during daytime but my creative juices flowed during wee hours of the night. I thought it helped me think. I thought it helped me release my tension. I thought it de-stressed me or so I thought. I thought I can never live without it and I just thought I can never quit. My life revolved in that way that I thought was just right.
My kids grew up. They never ceased to remind me almost everyday that what I was doing was wrong and will harm me. I was always willing to quit but I never had the will to do it. I started running in 2005 but never did I think of the harm it brought to me and my kids. I ran and I smoked. I knew it was unhealthy but I had all the alibis in the world just to justify my smoking! Until on July 06 of this year, an officemate was diagnosed of esophageal cancer of terminal stage when I promised myself that the last stick I was holding would be the last one I would smoke. I threw my lighter, broke the ashtray, I quit and I did it! It felt good especially when I run. I never just improved but the huffing I felt during the first kilometer when I run disappeared. The first week was not as difficult as I thought would be. Whenever I crave, I would pop out a candy. I consumed a pack of candy for only two days and it lessened until I never did crave anymore. It also came to a point that whenever I crave to hold a stick of cigarette, I got a straw from a soft drink and hold it like one until the craving was gone. It's been three months now and I never remember any cravings from me anymore. I know I will not go back from it and that is not just a promise to myself but to the love ones that I have.
Cigarette smoking is truly an addictive vise that ruins not just our lives but also harm the lives of your love ones. I never thought that it would make my officemate who was diagnosed of cancer the instrument for me to realize the risk of what I was doing. God really has his own way of making us realize our mistakes. He gave me the chance to live longer, to run longer.
See you on the road!